Furniture Wrangling

 I have two work tables that need to be put on their legs. I have one dresser that I use for fabric storage. One of the work tables will be put on Singer treadle sewing machine bases. This is something I long dreamed of being able to do. Fantasy furniture? However, there’s only me to get this furniture moved. I’m no longer able to fling these pieces around. Perhaps after I get over this bronchitis, I can do it. But not right now. I’m not even sure that I will be able to get this stuff out of my truck and into the apartment!

This is a bit depressing. I wish I had more faith in my ability to deal with things that require physical strength. I used to just do things, and not doubt myself. The little old lady inside my head doesn’t want to admit she is older. 

Downsizing and Decluttering

 These two words are a smoking gun for many people. Getting rid of things? Why? Because they serve no practical purpose, they carry emotional burdens through negative memories, or they are taking up space that is needed for things that will improve life. I no longer have the space to store things that are of little to no practical or positive value in my life. I have plenty of room for the good stuff. Not so much for things that hold less positive vibes. 

Some things are tools. Tools act on supplies. Knives cut, rulers measure, wrenches adjust.  Perhaps tools are duplicates, low quality beginner tools for a craft or hobby I tried and hated. Or they could be the starter set for a hobby I enjoy. But they are tools. It’s easy to decide about tools. Do I use them? Would I replace them if I lost them? Could I donate or sell them if I don’t keep them?

Other things are supplies, like paint, fabric, glue, or thread. Thread doesn’t keep for years, it ages and becomes brittle. Paint dries up. And, tastes change, along with fashions. Remember the age of the chevron? That fabric with the zig zag stripes isn’t going to make a fresh, cute pillow anytime soon. Many supplies have gone out the door. 

As a quilter, I am aware of the pressure to save every single itsy-bitsy scrap of fabric. That pressure is ridiculous, and in my opinion, unhealthy. If one person’s trash is another’s treasure, it is still trash to half of the people. It isn’t worth the time, energy, or space for me to save scraps. 

Sanctuary

 I am attempting to create a sanctuary for myself. A place where old wounds can heal and new dreams can grow. The ideal sanctuary that I created in my dreams is far away from where I am right now. I’m renting a one bedroom apartment that leaves a lot to be desired. The floors are not level, the place was horribly filthy when I moved in, and so on. There is no magical creation of a good space to be. I have to clean, sort, unpack, put away, and make sense out of a chaotic pile of random boxes of stuff. 

I packed in a bit of a hurry, and many items were not packed in an organized way. Fabric got wrapped around dishes, towels got wedged into boxes of books. It kept me from having to purchase packing padding, but it makes it hard to be systematic when unpacking. 

I’m also still downsizing and decluttering my things. While I have long needed to do this, the amount of mental effort required is sucking a lot more energy than I had thought it would. I have reached a point where I just can’t face another box that I will have to sort through and make decisions about. It isn’t making the decisions, I’ve figured out some very effective ways to choose what to keep or not. It’s just that making those decisions over and over again takes energy that I have run out of. I need to be doing something that restores my energy. I need to be creating something. 

Because I’ve had to focus on the basics of kitchen, bedroom, and bath, I have zero space set up for working with fiber. In order to create, I will create food to eat. I have been mentally designing skirts and sleeves, but I can’t do pattern work now. I’m going to make bread and prepare ingredients for future meals. It won’t be freestyle cooking, the way I used to, but I’m hoping it feeds my creative energy a meal as well.